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Do’s and don’ts
Dealing with teenagers in a public
domain can be very frustrating but let's
look at how the way we respond can
impact on the situation. Okay, let’s
jump straight in and look at some of the
Do's and
Don’ts when dealing with teenagers who
exhibit aggressive behaviour.
DON’TS
• Confront in an aggressive manner
• Attack/criticise
• Attempt to engage physically, (even in
a playful way)
• Impose your value system on them
• Use your reasons as leverage on them,
theirs probably don’t match yours
• Expect a negative outcome, (what you
focus on you usually get)
• Treat them like second class citizens,
(regardless of behaviour)
• Expect every situation to have a
positive outcome
• Make it personal
So how can we best deal with teenagers?
Most teenagers pass through a stage of
readjustment. They test boundaries, push
the limits and are trying to work out
who they are and how they fit in to the
world. Kids this age want nothing more
than to be significant. Significance may
be achieved by being liked, often by
doing the things that others want them
to do! Significance may be achieved by
being different, noticed or sexually
active. Significance may be achieved by
feeling powerful by exhibiting
aggression and intimidation. Added to
these emotions imagine if they have no
family support, (for various reasons,
including parents who have got to the
end of themselves and can’t cope)
imagine if the major influences on their
life is their peer group, (gang) the
media and so called ‘heroes’ not all of
whom are wholesome.
This set of influences will also be
effected by conditions such as attention
deficit hyperactivity disorder,
oppositional defiant disorder and other
teenagers problems.
So what can we do to manage situations
involving teenagers?
DO’S
• Develop a rapport/relationship
• Use their name and volunteer yours
• Learn from previous incidents and take
the positive strategies
• Remain calm
• Maintain calm, regular effective
breathing
• Take time
• Identify the leader of a group and
engage
• Step into their world, what’s going on
for them
• Be very clear when defining boundaries
• Recognise that often anger/aggression
is a secondary emotion
• Anger is often underpinned by fear or
sadness
• Expect the best
• Provide face saving options
• Take it step by step and recognise the
small victories
• Focus on the teenagers and not
onlookers who will have expectations
• Be aware of personal safety
• Know when to disengage and get support
• Remember it’s not about winning, it's
about outcome
It is no longer acceptable to give them
a clip around the ear and send them on
the way. We live in a very different
society today and it is a society that
we have all played a part in creating.
In this new society we need to be
better, hone our communication skills
and find new strategies. Conflict
management is all about how we
communicate and how we respond to
situations, so have faith and use all
your personal resources to gain better
outcomes.
Contact us
to find out how blue concept training can
support the people in your
organisation. When staff feel in
control, safe and calm they can provide the very best in
customer service. Conflict
management training will reduce costly
staff absenteeism, exposure to risk and
poor work practices.
Speak to
a member of our team who will be happy
to discuss how our employee
support
training can help your organisation.
Contact blue concept training
today. |
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